A break up with someone you love seems absurd at first sight. If you love someone, why stop the relationship? Unfortunately, the reality is often different. Because a good relationship is much more than “just” mutual love. Our guest author Katrin Bauer presents five reasons to part company with love.As long as there is love, is there a way? Sounds so beautiful that you want to believe in it with all your strength, but unfortunately not always true. Because sometimes life plays by its own rules. Things happen without warning, something opens one’s eyes, feelings change insidiously, reason wins over the heart – and although one may not want, even though it hurts like a thousand knives, although one loves someone and does not want to be a single day without him, you have to leave it behind and go without turning around again. Helps only a break-up, although you love yourself. The painful break up in spite of love.
Of course, a break-up is always painful, especially if you’re still hanging on the other. Moreover, that’s what you do when you love someone. However, even if the fight for love is worthwhile in many cases: If you find yourself back in one of the following situations, it is not only legitimate but also advisable to end the chapter once and for all — love or no.
Five reasons to break up with someone you love
1. The relationship does not make you happy anymore
When love starts, it makes you run on clouds. The concentrated attention of the other and the small and big moments of the first weeks and months act on the reality like a soft-focus, one feels beautiful, loved, and only together wholly complete. You are happy with each other. However, with the years comes the habit. Moreover, with it often a sad self-understanding of the once so fulfilling partnership.
The feeling of being worthless, invisible, just there. On the other hand, one can approach, with open conversations, small breaks for two, revival attempts. A relationship means work – every day. However, the bottom line is that despite all efforts dissatisfaction and you feel permanently less well as a couple alone than alone, the only correct consequence is a break up with someone you love.
2. Your basis of trust is destroyed
Being able to tell everything, not having to say the unimportant, being honest with each other on the whole line: Trust is the foundation of every close human relationship, and even more of a healthy partnership. “He who lies once, one does not believe, and if he speaks the truth,” it says – and there is much truth to it. Whether the other blasphemes behind his own back, knowing concealed or even fraudulent: If you feel deceived once, runs through the common foundation henceforth, a deep crack, which, if anything, only with great difficulty to kitten again.
The mistrust has settled between you and pushes you farther and farther apart. If you still love your partner and are prepared to give him another chance, he should gratefully accept it and fight hard to regain your trust. If he does not, he is not worth your love and your time, and you should end the relationship, despite your passion.
3. You can not make your partner happy
You love your partner and can not imagine a better one in the world. However, even if the other person does not say it, you know in-depth that you will never be the right person for him. For example, because you are struggling with yourself, pulling him down more often than supporting him, you can not fulfill your desires, hopes, and dreams. Because you think you know that he deserves something different, supposedly better. Moreover, maybe pick it from the tree as soon as it gets in front of the lens.
This feeling of never being enough, despite all the affection and effort. Above all, it puts a strain on your self-esteem. You want to, but you can not be the one or the other. Admitting this is incredibly painful – but equally important. Because if you genuinely and genuinely love this person deeply, you should let him go and make way for new partnerships that will both fill you with happiness. Go or stay? Sometimes a break up, though loved, as hard as it is, is the better way.
4. You love your partner, but he does not like you
Sometimes we can not quite understand our feelings. We love our partner idolatrously, but he does not do us any good – or worse, he harms us. Unfortunately, relationships in which a partner does not split even though verbal or physical violence is involved are not rare. Sometimes, then, there is the talk of “dependency relationships.”
The love – yes, it may still exist and flare up again and again, if it goes well for a short time. However, the treachery of such relationships is just that there will be a decent soon. When you are in such a toxic relationship, you should think about your well-being and integrity, and probably better part with it, even if your heart is still full of love for your partner.
How to break up with someone you love(Opens in a new browser tab)
5. Your life plans are incompatible
Love comes when it wants, settles in our hearts, and enchants us. At the beginning of a partnership, this is all that both lovers need. You are delighted with yourself and the moment. However, when some time has passed, the relationship with each other changes. They are no longer governed solely by the butterflies in their bellies. Significant – and often severe – topics are now coming to the table for the first time. You tell each other what plans you have for life, what you experience, what you want to do. How to imagine an enduring relationship.
The list of such topics is endless, and so is the list of possible incompatible ideas. Maybe you want children, but not the partner. Alternatively, you are fed up with the long-distance relationship that has been going on for months. However, the partner finds the distance quite pleasant and does not want to change anything about it. One may dream of a wedding in white, the partner, however, finds weddings “terrible” and the institution of marriage “absolutely stuffy.”
Such divergences can lead to quarrels and hardened fronts, especially when one or both sides realize that they are – love or no – forced to either make false compromises or submit to something that will not make them happy. Even in such cases, a break up is all too understandable despite love.
A breakup does not always have something to do with a lack of love
Love goes it’s a way. It does not always take into account how compatible two people are, how well they do each other. Therefore, it is not surprising that in some relationships, in spite of deep, sincere love, the question arises as to whether it would not be better to part ways than to continue something that does not do either partner or both good. I hope that the reasons for a breakup presented here, despite the love that exists, will give you a little more clarity in your possibly troubled feelings and you will make the right decision.
How to Breakup: the five essential rules to break up gently!(Opens in a new browser tab)